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Start Here: Dad Gains 100 lbs after 2 Kids, Gets Help, Shares Help, and Fights Back

Kevin's 100 lb Dad weight gain story and the journey back to mental and physical health.

Kevin Lindquist
November 25, 2021
4 min read

This was me in 2010. Pre-Dad. Eating 3-5k calories per day - wouldn’t really know because I didn’t track it. I just ate food that tasted good - and found a wife who was a really good cook. I was probably a few pounds off my college basketball prime of 215. 


Pre-Dad Bod in 2010 - HealthyDadDays.com
Pre-Dad Bod in 2010 - Never Thought I'd Share This


This was me in 2020 - sunburned again - but not shirtless too often. Went through sprints of eating less, but still probably eating over 3,500 calories most days. Sprinkled in three marathons, a tech startup, a short CrossFit phase, 2 kids, working from home a lot, a few calorie tracking apps, and slowly but surely gaining 10 lbs per year from 2010 to 2020. After this Lake Powell trip I saw 330lbs on the scale. 


Dad After 2 Kids and 100 lbs of Weight Gain
Post-Dad Bod in 2020


Who am I today? This is the big idea - I get to choose! I didn’t always think this way. In fact, the last few years have really been about this journey personally and in my marriage. Its easy not to think about weight gain - and its easy to eat a lot of calorie dense food. It is hard to be real and talk to your spouse about being overweight and failing the weight loss program again - it could be even harder to bring up the topic if your spouse is the one struggling with their weight. It has been hard for my wife to keep talking to me about it, but she has used her education, skills, and natural talents to help me keep going. 


At some low points after tough unresolved conversations with my wife I did what most people would do - I googled something like “overweight spouse problems” or something like that. If you’ve done that then maybe you saw two things that I was very disappointed in. First, all the stuff online seems to be about women gaining weight and “causing” the problem. Second, a lot of people in forums have what appears to be a three strike and you’re out policy when it comes to marriage.  This was super depressing. And I didn’t like those options. So, because I know I’m not alone, I’m going to publish something different. I’m a Dad who gained a ton of weight - well, not a ton - but over 100lbs. It created some real challenging moments in my marriage. And I’m up for the challenge. You should be too. 


I believe that identity matters. Who you believe you are - or how you choose to define yourself is at the core of any successful change. I think that most approaches to managing weight start you in a losing position. It always starts with “how much do you weigh and how tall are you?” then asks “how much do you want to weigh?”. This reinforces the negative identity of being a fat person today and pushes the positive identity out into a far off tomorrow. I want to change that and encourage Dads to figure out their identify first. It changed when you had a kid, but did you change it on purpose or did you give up control to what was changing around you? If you are like me, then you probably got focused on all the change around you and just piled it on your shoulders because you’re a strong person who can handle anything. Then your shoulders got bigger, but in the wrong way. We tried to become grown ups and the stress piled up. Kids came, desk job life became too established, finances changed, and eating felt good - it could happen often - and it gave you something to look forward to when everything around you was changing. 


If you’ve read this far you’ve probably asked yourself - OK, what do you look like today mister? Did all of this identity stuff help you get back to your college physique? I’ll answer your question because researcher Brene Brown told me I should, but then explain why this isn’t the point.


This is a picture of me in August 2021 golfing at a beautiful course on the big island in Hawaii. I’m not a big social media person, so a lot of my personal pictures come from vacations. I’m not 330lbs anymore - in fact I recently saw 298 on the scale before the Hawaii trip. I gained a few pounds between then and the end of the trip.


First Year Without Net Weight Gain


I’m starting to learn how to think about my weight loss journey in a positive way. I don’t want to let a negative voice in my head or any other influence tell me who I am - or make me do things that take me away from who I really want to be. I want to measure who I am and see how that matches up with who I believe I am - and still press forward in that vision. 


Who am I? 


I’m not Jean Valjean… but I am: 


A real Dad who chooses every day to take control of his physical and mental well-being. I’m active, involved in my kids lives, and proud. I enjoy competitive sports and working behind the scenes on my body and mind to improve my performance when I’m playing. I’m a positive and optimistic guy who is going to share way too much on the internet and honestly is a little worried about the consequences of that. I know who I am, and I have a plan I’m executing on and adapting as I go that will force me to be accountable. 


You should go visit my public daily log. 


To realize this identity - I need help. And Google sucks for stuff like this. So I’m going to bring all the good help together and share it with you as I continue to learn. That is why I am starting the annual Healthy Dad Days Digital Summit. I’m bringing the world of mental health and weight loss together to help Dads get back on the right track, with a better approach, and ideas that will get them excited to keep working on themselves. You don’t have to talk to anybody about it yet - you just need a phone or computer to access the sessions.


Do you want to join me? Follow my progress? Get excited about who you are again? Then subscribe and hold me accountable every day as I log habits that support my identity and I’ll pay you back with great content and a digital summit that you can use to keep going every single year. 


You don’t need to be me. You don’t need to like golf or sports in general. You just need to know who you are and what habits will support that identify. 

Kevin Lindquist is the founder of Healthy Dad Days and just wants a place to be open and help each other.

Health

Start Here: Dad Gains 100 lbs after 2 Kids, Gets Help, Shares Help, and Fights Back

Kevin's 100 lb Dad weight gain story and the journey back to mental and physical health.

This was me in 2010. Pre-Dad. Eating 3-5k calories per day - wouldn’t really know because I didn’t track it. I just ate food that tasted good - and found a wife who was a really good cook. I was probably a few pounds off my college basketball prime of 215. 


Pre-Dad Bod in 2010 - HealthyDadDays.com
Pre-Dad Bod in 2010 - Never Thought I'd Share This


This was me in 2020 - sunburned again - but not shirtless too often. Went through sprints of eating less, but still probably eating over 3,500 calories most days. Sprinkled in three marathons, a tech startup, a short CrossFit phase, 2 kids, working from home a lot, a few calorie tracking apps, and slowly but surely gaining 10 lbs per year from 2010 to 2020. After this Lake Powell trip I saw 330lbs on the scale. 


Dad After 2 Kids and 100 lbs of Weight Gain
Post-Dad Bod in 2020


Who am I today? This is the big idea - I get to choose! I didn’t always think this way. In fact, the last few years have really been about this journey personally and in my marriage. Its easy not to think about weight gain - and its easy to eat a lot of calorie dense food. It is hard to be real and talk to your spouse about being overweight and failing the weight loss program again - it could be even harder to bring up the topic if your spouse is the one struggling with their weight. It has been hard for my wife to keep talking to me about it, but she has used her education, skills, and natural talents to help me keep going. 


At some low points after tough unresolved conversations with my wife I did what most people would do - I googled something like “overweight spouse problems” or something like that. If you’ve done that then maybe you saw two things that I was very disappointed in. First, all the stuff online seems to be about women gaining weight and “causing” the problem. Second, a lot of people in forums have what appears to be a three strike and you’re out policy when it comes to marriage.  This was super depressing. And I didn’t like those options. So, because I know I’m not alone, I’m going to publish something different. I’m a Dad who gained a ton of weight - well, not a ton - but over 100lbs. It created some real challenging moments in my marriage. And I’m up for the challenge. You should be too. 


I believe that identity matters. Who you believe you are - or how you choose to define yourself is at the core of any successful change. I think that most approaches to managing weight start you in a losing position. It always starts with “how much do you weigh and how tall are you?” then asks “how much do you want to weigh?”. This reinforces the negative identity of being a fat person today and pushes the positive identity out into a far off tomorrow. I want to change that and encourage Dads to figure out their identify first. It changed when you had a kid, but did you change it on purpose or did you give up control to what was changing around you? If you are like me, then you probably got focused on all the change around you and just piled it on your shoulders because you’re a strong person who can handle anything. Then your shoulders got bigger, but in the wrong way. We tried to become grown ups and the stress piled up. Kids came, desk job life became too established, finances changed, and eating felt good - it could happen often - and it gave you something to look forward to when everything around you was changing. 


If you’ve read this far you’ve probably asked yourself - OK, what do you look like today mister? Did all of this identity stuff help you get back to your college physique? I’ll answer your question because researcher Brene Brown told me I should, but then explain why this isn’t the point.


This is a picture of me in August 2021 golfing at a beautiful course on the big island in Hawaii. I’m not a big social media person, so a lot of my personal pictures come from vacations. I’m not 330lbs anymore - in fact I recently saw 298 on the scale before the Hawaii trip. I gained a few pounds between then and the end of the trip.


First Year Without Net Weight Gain


I’m starting to learn how to think about my weight loss journey in a positive way. I don’t want to let a negative voice in my head or any other influence tell me who I am - or make me do things that take me away from who I really want to be. I want to measure who I am and see how that matches up with who I believe I am - and still press forward in that vision. 


Who am I? 


I’m not Jean Valjean… but I am: 


A real Dad who chooses every day to take control of his physical and mental well-being. I’m active, involved in my kids lives, and proud. I enjoy competitive sports and working behind the scenes on my body and mind to improve my performance when I’m playing. I’m a positive and optimistic guy who is going to share way too much on the internet and honestly is a little worried about the consequences of that. I know who I am, and I have a plan I’m executing on and adapting as I go that will force me to be accountable. 


You should go visit my public daily log. 


To realize this identity - I need help. And Google sucks for stuff like this. So I’m going to bring all the good help together and share it with you as I continue to learn. That is why I am starting the annual Healthy Dad Days Digital Summit. I’m bringing the world of mental health and weight loss together to help Dads get back on the right track, with a better approach, and ideas that will get them excited to keep working on themselves. You don’t have to talk to anybody about it yet - you just need a phone or computer to access the sessions.


Do you want to join me? Follow my progress? Get excited about who you are again? Then subscribe and hold me accountable every day as I log habits that support my identity and I’ll pay you back with great content and a digital summit that you can use to keep going every single year. 


You don’t need to be me. You don’t need to like golf or sports in general. You just need to know who you are and what habits will support that identify. 

Kevin Lindquist is the founder of Healthy Dad Days and just wants a place to be open and help each other.

Key Takeaways

Hosted by:
Kevin Lindquist
Health

Start Here: Dad Gains 100 lbs after 2 Kids, Gets Help, Shares Help, and Fights Back

Kevin's 100 lb Dad weight gain story and the journey back to mental and physical health.

This was me in 2010. Pre-Dad. Eating 3-5k calories per day - wouldn’t really know because I didn’t track it. I just ate food that tasted good - and found a wife who was a really good cook. I was probably a few pounds off my college basketball prime of 215. 


Pre-Dad Bod in 2010 - HealthyDadDays.com
Pre-Dad Bod in 2010 - Never Thought I'd Share This


This was me in 2020 - sunburned again - but not shirtless too often. Went through sprints of eating less, but still probably eating over 3,500 calories most days. Sprinkled in three marathons, a tech startup, a short CrossFit phase, 2 kids, working from home a lot, a few calorie tracking apps, and slowly but surely gaining 10 lbs per year from 2010 to 2020. After this Lake Powell trip I saw 330lbs on the scale. 


Dad After 2 Kids and 100 lbs of Weight Gain
Post-Dad Bod in 2020


Who am I today? This is the big idea - I get to choose! I didn’t always think this way. In fact, the last few years have really been about this journey personally and in my marriage. Its easy not to think about weight gain - and its easy to eat a lot of calorie dense food. It is hard to be real and talk to your spouse about being overweight and failing the weight loss program again - it could be even harder to bring up the topic if your spouse is the one struggling with their weight. It has been hard for my wife to keep talking to me about it, but she has used her education, skills, and natural talents to help me keep going. 


At some low points after tough unresolved conversations with my wife I did what most people would do - I googled something like “overweight spouse problems” or something like that. If you’ve done that then maybe you saw two things that I was very disappointed in. First, all the stuff online seems to be about women gaining weight and “causing” the problem. Second, a lot of people in forums have what appears to be a three strike and you’re out policy when it comes to marriage.  This was super depressing. And I didn’t like those options. So, because I know I’m not alone, I’m going to publish something different. I’m a Dad who gained a ton of weight - well, not a ton - but over 100lbs. It created some real challenging moments in my marriage. And I’m up for the challenge. You should be too. 


I believe that identity matters. Who you believe you are - or how you choose to define yourself is at the core of any successful change. I think that most approaches to managing weight start you in a losing position. It always starts with “how much do you weigh and how tall are you?” then asks “how much do you want to weigh?”. This reinforces the negative identity of being a fat person today and pushes the positive identity out into a far off tomorrow. I want to change that and encourage Dads to figure out their identify first. It changed when you had a kid, but did you change it on purpose or did you give up control to what was changing around you? If you are like me, then you probably got focused on all the change around you and just piled it on your shoulders because you’re a strong person who can handle anything. Then your shoulders got bigger, but in the wrong way. We tried to become grown ups and the stress piled up. Kids came, desk job life became too established, finances changed, and eating felt good - it could happen often - and it gave you something to look forward to when everything around you was changing. 


If you’ve read this far you’ve probably asked yourself - OK, what do you look like today mister? Did all of this identity stuff help you get back to your college physique? I’ll answer your question because researcher Brene Brown told me I should, but then explain why this isn’t the point.


This is a picture of me in August 2021 golfing at a beautiful course on the big island in Hawaii. I’m not a big social media person, so a lot of my personal pictures come from vacations. I’m not 330lbs anymore - in fact I recently saw 298 on the scale before the Hawaii trip. I gained a few pounds between then and the end of the trip.


First Year Without Net Weight Gain


I’m starting to learn how to think about my weight loss journey in a positive way. I don’t want to let a negative voice in my head or any other influence tell me who I am - or make me do things that take me away from who I really want to be. I want to measure who I am and see how that matches up with who I believe I am - and still press forward in that vision. 


Who am I? 


I’m not Jean Valjean… but I am: 


A real Dad who chooses every day to take control of his physical and mental well-being. I’m active, involved in my kids lives, and proud. I enjoy competitive sports and working behind the scenes on my body and mind to improve my performance when I’m playing. I’m a positive and optimistic guy who is going to share way too much on the internet and honestly is a little worried about the consequences of that. I know who I am, and I have a plan I’m executing on and adapting as I go that will force me to be accountable. 


You should go visit my public daily log. 


To realize this identity - I need help. And Google sucks for stuff like this. So I’m going to bring all the good help together and share it with you as I continue to learn. That is why I am starting the annual Healthy Dad Days Digital Summit. I’m bringing the world of mental health and weight loss together to help Dads get back on the right track, with a better approach, and ideas that will get them excited to keep working on themselves. You don’t have to talk to anybody about it yet - you just need a phone or computer to access the sessions.


Do you want to join me? Follow my progress? Get excited about who you are again? Then subscribe and hold me accountable every day as I log habits that support my identity and I’ll pay you back with great content and a digital summit that you can use to keep going every single year. 


You don’t need to be me. You don’t need to like golf or sports in general. You just need to know who you are and what habits will support that identify. 

Key Takeaways

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Kevin Lindquist

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Start Here: Dad Gains 100 lbs after 2 Kids, Gets Help, Shares Help, and Fights Back

Kevin's 100 lb Dad weight gain story and the journey back to mental and physical health.

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