Daily Identity Log

My wife still has a hard time talking about my weight

Kevin Lindquist
January 31, 2022
We’ve come miles and miles, but my wife still has some fear when it comes to saying anything about my weight. Even when she is right! She has always had a more reserved personality - and I know her well enough that I really need to encourage her to share her feelings some times. Otherwise things build up. She knows this too. We’ve been married for over a decade - but we are still learning and growing together. Last night I could tell something was bothering her - and I could guess it was food related. My plan was to skip desserts until Monday - but I only made it to Saturday. I made it a work week instead of a full week. She wasn’t upset about that though. Instead - she was frustrated because she knows that I can do better and she knows how to help me, but she wasn’t sure how to talk about it because of how I’ve reacted to the topic in the past. Last night I reacted well! I encouraged her to talk and I listened. I listened as hard as I could without trying to correct, minimize, or justify. Her big point was that I still don’t seem to be taking top down ownership of my identity. She thinks that I’ve been thinking about it from the bottom up and that leaves cracks in my thinking and behavior. She’s right. Now - we both know I’ve come a long way. But I also know that for the majority of my life I have taken real responsibility for what I eat. Instead I eat what is convenient or what would feel good. And this change keeps my stuck in bottom up land. Meaning that I focus on day to day things I can do - RULES - instead of knowing who I am and what that person would do - PRINCIPLES. This is something I want to think more about.

Kevin Lindquist is the founder of Healthy Dad Days and just wants a place to be open and help each other.

My wife still has a hard time talking about my weight

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Kevin Lindquist
February 1, 2022
We’ve come miles and miles, but my wife still has some fear when it comes to saying anything about my weight. Even when she is right! She has always had a more reserved personality - and I know her well enough that I really need to encourage her to share her feelings some times. Otherwise things build up. She knows this too. We’ve been married for over a decade - but we are still learning and growing together. Last night I could tell something was bothering her - and I could guess it was food related. My plan was to skip desserts until Monday - but I only made it to Saturday. I made it a work week instead of a full week. She wasn’t upset about that though. Instead - she was frustrated because she knows that I can do better and she knows how to help me, but she wasn’t sure how to talk about it because of how I’ve reacted to the topic in the past. Last night I reacted well! I encouraged her to talk and I listened. I listened as hard as I could without trying to correct, minimize, or justify. Her big point was that I still don’t seem to be taking top down ownership of my identity. She thinks that I’ve been thinking about it from the bottom up and that leaves cracks in my thinking and behavior. She’s right. Now - we both know I’ve come a long way. But I also know that for the majority of my life I have taken real responsibility for what I eat. Instead I eat what is convenient or what would feel good. And this change keeps my stuck in bottom up land. Meaning that I focus on day to day things I can do - RULES - instead of knowing who I am and what that person would do - PRINCIPLES. This is something I want to think more about.

Kevin Lindquist is the founder of Healthy Dad Days and just wants a place to be open and help each other.

My wife still has a hard time talking about my weight

We’ve come miles and miles, but my wife still has some fear when it comes to saying anything about my weight. Even when she is right! She has always had a more reserved personality - and I know her well enough that I really need to encourage her to share her feelings some times. Otherwise things build up. She knows this too. We’ve been married for over a decade - but we are still learning and growing together. Last night I could tell something was bothering her - and I could guess it was food related. My plan was to skip desserts until Monday - but I only made it to Saturday. I made it a work week instead of a full week. She wasn’t upset about that though. Instead - she was frustrated because she knows that I can do better and she knows how to help me, but she wasn’t sure how to talk about it because of how I’ve reacted to the topic in the past. Last night I reacted well! I encouraged her to talk and I listened. I listened as hard as I could without trying to correct, minimize, or justify. Her big point was that I still don’t seem to be taking top down ownership of my identity. She thinks that I’ve been thinking about it from the bottom up and that leaves cracks in my thinking and behavior. She’s right. Now - we both know I’ve come a long way. But I also know that for the majority of my life I have taken real responsibility for what I eat. Instead I eat what is convenient or what would feel good. And this change keeps my stuck in bottom up land. Meaning that I focus on day to day things I can do - RULES - instead of knowing who I am and what that person would do - PRINCIPLES. This is something I want to think more about.

Kevin Lindquist is the founder of Healthy Dad Days and just wants a place to be open and help each other.

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We’ve come miles and miles, but my wife still has some fear when it comes to saying anything about my weight. Even when she is right! She has always had a more reserved personality - and I know her well enough that I really need to encourage her to share her feelings some times. Otherwise things build up. She knows this too. We’ve been married for over a decade - but we are still learning and growing together. Last night I could tell something was bothering her - and I could guess it was food related. My plan was to skip desserts until Monday - but I only made it to Saturday. I made it a work week instead of a full week. She wasn’t upset about that though. Instead - she was frustrated because she knows that I can do better and she knows how to help me, but she wasn’t sure how to talk about it because of how I’ve reacted to the topic in the past. Last night I reacted well! I encouraged her to talk and I listened. I listened as hard as I could without trying to correct, minimize, or justify. Her big point was that I still don’t seem to be taking top down ownership of my identity. She thinks that I’ve been thinking about it from the bottom up and that leaves cracks in my thinking and behavior. She’s right. Now - we both know I’ve come a long way. But I also know that for the majority of my life I have taken real responsibility for what I eat. Instead I eat what is convenient or what would feel good. And this change keeps my stuck in bottom up land. Meaning that I focus on day to day things I can do - RULES - instead of knowing who I am and what that person would do - PRINCIPLES. This is something I want to think more about.

Key Takeaways

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Kevin Lindquist

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